KUPD Moving shot of Man walking down a dark hall then opening a door that was slightly cracked with light pouring out of it. Stan: V.O.:It was my first day on the job and all I had ever heard about the place were nightmares. Switches to Shot inside room while Stan is walking in. Long shot of the entire room capturing the two preoccupied deputies. Chief:(looking up)  you the new guy? Stan: Yeah I'm Sargent Stanly... Cut to MS of Chief Chief: I know who you are Stitzle. Man Stanly Stitzle HELL of a name, you better hope it doesn't trip us up out there STitzle! You heard stories about KUPD before I'm sure. As Cheif approaches, cut to MS of the two Stan: Yes sir, about... Chief: No need to remind me Stitzle, been there done that. Stitzle! You like tooth picks? Stan: Sure, sir. Cut to LS, Chief walks over to Stan and gives Stan the toothpick he has been chewing on.Places it in Stan's mouth, xcu of the toothpick going into mouth. Then back to ls. Chief: It's my favorite toothpick Stitzle, welcome to the team. Chief walks off screen. Stan is standing there a little baffled. Other deputy walks over, then cuts to a close up of the two talking. McSusan: Hey I'm McSusan, Don't worry, he's just excited. Things have been a little tense around here since we lost Chief's old partner Patty, thats who you're replacing. He actually gave you Pattys old toothpick. Stan gives grossed out face. Stan: Oh God, how'd he die? McSusan: He got ran over by the guy we are trying to track down...Le handicap parkur Stan: The who? Cut to MS of McSusan McSusan: The handicap parker, Chief insists we say it with a French accent he thinks it's scary. But he's a non handicap man parking in the handicap spot. Chief has been trying to track him down for weeks and when he and Patty did last week, Le Handicap Parkur flattened Patty. Chief said it was heinous. The driver just had a horrible blood lust in his eyes licking his lips, starring Patty down like a tiger eyes an unknowing fawn in a serene jungle clearing. And like that tiger Le Handicap Parkur struck down old Patty with a merciless blow. While mcsusan is telling story flashback of total opposite, patty getting run over by le hadicap parkur. it is an accidental run over showing the driving listening to loud music, looking confused when he hears a thud while back up. Looks in reirview and see's the body. Panicks and escapes. all the while showing closeups of pattys face oblivious until too late, chiefs face, close up of driver listening to loud music. then shot of patty on the ground after the car drives off. chief comes over and grieves. above shot of chief looking up holding patty and yelling toward end of story fade back to mcsusan reading off a flash card. Chief insists the story always be retold that way. He wrote it, he's actually not too bad with words. Anyway, you got a pen? Stan: Yes. McSusan: Good, you're going to need it. Fade to black. End Scene. SCENE TWO: All sitting around a room when the phone goes off. Chief answers it, then cu of chiefs face. Chief: Yes, alright, where? Behind Old Main, ok, I'll take care of it. Ok Boys! Duty calls, we got a white liner down in parking lot F-2. Stitzle! you ready? Stan: Yes Sir. Chief: You got that toothpick? Stan reluctantly pulls it out of his pocket. Stan: Um yes, yes sir. Chief: Good! Lets go. All get up and start leaving while fading to black. WHITE LINER cut in to the three of them looking at a car parked in between white lines. cut between medium shot of the three looking at the camera (CAr) and the parked car including white lines. Two or three times then stan turns away fast and pretends to throw up. chief looks to the side. CHIEF: (Before Stan Pukes) Yeah I don't see a proper pass boys, do you? (After Stan Pukes) Pull yourself together Stitzle! This can't be your first White Liner man, can it! close up of Stan bent over catching his breath. STAN: No sir, sorry, I don't know what came over me. V.O.: Come on Stitzle bring yourself together buddy. back to shot of the three looking at the camera stan comes back up moving back into shot. Mcsusan is writing out a ticket. CHIEF: You almost done writing that ticket McSusan? MCSUSAN: Sir, how many times must I tell you it's McSusan, not McSusan. CHIEF: You can't fool me McSusan, I can read, and I know what I see so don't be trying to pull any name pronunciation trickery upon me! MCSUSAN: Fine! God! Here!   chief examines the ticket. CHIEF: You know, truthfully I think you got a fishy last name McSusan, but you fill out a ticket with tender love and pin point accuracy. mcsusan just shaking head still sorta mad MCSUSAN: yeah, yeah. Thanks. close up of chief putting ticket under a window wiper CHIEF: Take that punk! try to shoot on empty weekend with no cars around. after ticketing that one long shot of them all just standing there looking around. CHIEF: McSusan, the mobile! McSusan runs off and bring up the ride. CHIEF: McSusan get out, Stitzle is driving! Stitzle can you drive a jammer?! STAN: Yes Sir. CHIEF: Good! McSusan drives like a little old lady from Istanbule ain't that right McSusan! MCSUSAN: Sir you're wearing on my patience. CHIEF: And it fits me like a glove, punch it Stitzle! Shot of the jeep riding away fade to black. IN SEARCH OF WHATS TO COME Scene cuts in to shot of the three of them in the Jeep. Maybe looking up but as long as it catches all three of them with squinty eyes looking and searching for something to do. Looking like they are scanning and bobbing heads and such. Switching between shots of the front and back of them. STAN: Chief this car is an automatic, sir. CHIEF: Good job Stitzle. STAN: Why did you ask me if I could drive a stick? CHIEF: Just testin' ya Stitzle...You pass Cheif Turns to address them both. CHIEF: You know Shakespeare once said "I may neither choose who I would, nor refuse who I dislike; so is the will of a living daughter curbed by the will of a dead father." MCSUSAN: You don't say CHIEF: It's true he did. Back to shot of them just scanning, sometimes Chief thinks he see's something but never really does. Cut to shot of all them sleeping. Stan wakes up first and makes a noise then they all follow suit. CHIEF: Oh! Oh man how long have we been asleep? Where's my hat!? Someone stole my hat! Oh here it is. Stitzle where are we? STAN: I'm not sure sir, I think we are at a Sheetz. CHIEF: Great! I want to try their new fish sandwich sliders! Sounds good right? Fish sandwich sliders? MCSUSAN: Sir you know how you get sick from fast food. Chief! Sir! Too late Chief is already out of the car. MCSUSAN: Chief has a weak stomach, gets sick off of everything. He had a small fry from McDonlads last week and claimed the pain in his stomach was so intense it "threatened the very nature of his existence." STAN: He said that? MCSUSAN: Direct quote. Cut to later shot of them just staring straight ahead. maybe having some small convo. Chief Comes back with Fish Sliders and starts unwrapping one. CHIEF: Woooo! Fish Sliders! Stan and McSusan give look of "I told ya so" Cut to shot of Chief incapacitated in the shotgun. eyes closed and rubbing him tummy. STAN: Chief, you alright? CHIEF: (Slowly and helplessly) No my tummy hurt. MCSUSAN: Sir I told you not to eat those fish sliders, you always get sick off of fast food. remember the small fry? CHIEF: Yes it threatened the nature of my very existence. MCSUSAN: Right and... CHIEF: I can't see! I'm sliding into a coma, fish sliders, sliding, fish, coma, tummy, Patty fish slide... Camera slowly zooming in at this point as Chief is talking and then a shimmering thing happened and turns into a dream sequence in which he meets with Patty. THE DREAM Fade up into a shimmer and Patty is looking overhead saying PATTY: Chief! Chief! Chief is still coming into consciousness inside the dream. Most of the scene shot in a circle of light surrounded by dark.Scene consists of a constant cu back and forth between the two.Chief is on the floor on his back looking up. CHIEF: Patty!? Patty is that you? PATTY: Yeah whats goin' on? (In a slow voice) CHIEF: Patty, I miss you I'm sorry I couldn't save you. PATTY: You know, heaven is a lot nicer than earth Chief, don't worry about it. Comfortable temperature almost all the time. CHIEF: But I have to revenge your death and get Le Handicap Parkur. PATTY: True, true. Have you been looking for him? CHIEF: Half heartedly, yes. PATTY: You must look harder Chief. Take heed, he is as oblivious to his actions as is the mother shark after eating her weaker children. Yet still deadly. CHIEF: Really? ok, alright. PATTY: Good luck Chief, and stay away from fast food, you know its not good for you. Patty starts to fade away into the shimmer. CHIEF: Patty! No! They just reissued the McRib! Patty! Nooooo! AWAKENING Shimmer back into a shot of of McSusan and Stan looking down at Chief. MCSUSAN: Chief! Are you ok? You can't eat any more fast food Chief! God!, No more Chief. Switch shot to close up of Chief coming out of it. CHIEF: McSusan is that you? I saw Patty. CU of McSusan. MCSUSAN: Yes Chief it's, ah, me. What do you mean you saw Patty? You started screaming that you couldn't see, then passed out for a half hour. We are back at head quarters. CHIEF: McSusan, McSusan, Le Handicap Parkur is as blind to his actions as a mother shark is after she eats her weaker children. Switch to a CU of Stan STAN: I think the fish sliders still have a hold of him. Back to Chief CHIEF: No, I'm alright now. Patty told me that Le Handicap Parkur doesn't realize the evil he commits. He's oblivious. STAN: What do we do then. CHIEF: Well Stitzle I'm really not too sure. we have no leads and he seems to always be a step in head of us. Fade to black. End Scene. STAN REFLECTS Stan is walking around ticketing cars looking distressed. Entire scene is done in a voice over. STAN: My god what have i gotten myself into? I thought I would be just putting tickets on unauthorized cars. Instead I'm stuck with an over literate eccentric man I only know as Chief... Small head of Chief comes into scene and says... CHIEF: Reading a News paper) Stitzle do you smell that? Yeah me neither. Fades out STAN: And people are getting killed by men who know not what they do. While he is saying that some kind of flash back to Patty getting run over. STAN: What am I going to do? I can't stay here much longer... I have a feeling the insanity will rub off on me or I'm going to be killed. I only wanted to serve my country in the least dangerous way as possible. Stan stops and looks to the sky. Then He gets a call from Chief. The scene is split between Stan and Chief both on the phone. STAN: Hello? CHIEF: Stitzle by god where are you? STAN: I'm just out patrolling sir, how'd you get my number sir? CHIEF: Stitzle no time for questions man! We got a hot tip on Le Handicap pakur! Meet us back at the station ASAP! STAN: Yes sir! It's then that Stan looks over and see's a girl sitting in a car staring him down. She gives him a smile and Stan Smiles back. The scene itself is split between shots of the two looking at each other. The shot steadies on the two but not till the end. So, back and forth then Stan walks over to see what the good word is. Girl rolls down window. STAN: Hey there, you need help? GIRL: No but it looks like you do rookie. You looking for le handicap Parkur right? STAN: Um, yeah how'd you know about all that? Girl asks Stan to come closer. Then tight shot of her lips close to his ear. GIRL: [wispering] Mostly through seduction. Back to medium shot of the two. Stan looks a little excited. GIRL: Why don't you get in the car? I can show you where he lives, that way you can stake out his home, see where he goes. STAN: Um, yeah sure you convinced me. Stan gets into the passenger side and someone from behind knocks him out. Scene fades to black. Back at the station Chief and McSusan sit/stand nervously. Chief starts shaking his head. CHIEF: I got a bad feeling about this McSusan, Stitzle is taking a little too long for my liking. I have a feeling he was kid napped. MCSUSAN: Sir, that ridicules. CHIEF: Is it McSusan? Think about it.This man is deranged enough to park in a handicap spot when he himself has no physical ailment. MCSUSAN: Yes but that doesn't mean... CHIEF: What it means McSusan is that this guy will go to the extremes for his own comfort. I have a feeling Stitzle was hot on the case and Le Handicap Parkur got him before he could issue any tickets. The the phone rings Chief answers it. the Phone call is split between a closeup shot of the girls lips and her phone and Chief talking. CHIEF: Yeah, hello! GIRL: We have your boy locked up and safe at so and so. Promise not to hunt Le Handicap Parkur any longer and you can have him back safely. CHIEF: Whose this!? GIRL: It doesn't matter Chief! Do you promise to lay off?! CHEIF: Yeah sure we do. You sure he's ok? GIRL: Yes. He's at so and so. Come get him in half hour. CHIEF: See you then. Chief hangs up phone looking down. Distressed. MCSUSAN: Who was that Chief? CHIEF: Whoever kid napped Stitzle. MCSUSAN: So he was kidnapped? CHIEF: Yeah and he's at so and so. But the catch is we have to stop hunting the hadicap parkur down. MCSUSAN: Are we? CHIEF: For stitzle's sake...yes. But there's another catch. MCSUSAN: What's that? CHIEF: We have to wait a half hour. What do you wanna do? Fade to black FINAL SHOWDOWN Chief and McSusan pull up to the place to meet and see the handicap parkers car parked outside. POV shot of Chief and McSusan pulling up and focus on that car. CHIEF: Le Handicap Parkur. MCSUSAN: Sir relax for the sake of Stitzle's safety, relax. Close up of Chief's face. inspiring music playing. CHIEF: Now you listen here McSusan. He took my friend, turned my life upside down, and kidnapped a man who had only been on the job for more or less three days. Now you just try to tell me again to relax. Back to a shot of both of them. MCSUSAN: Sir, you have never said my name correctly but you have never failed to inspire me. We shall avenge the death of Patty and save Stitzle and as God as my witness...bring le handicap parkur to justice! CHIEF: Now thats what I'm talking about McSusan! On the way in, ticket his car it's too convenient not to. The two get out of the car and head into the building while the camera is still inside the car. Next shot is of them going into building. Camera is on the inside so it shows them walking into the building. Then they look to the side and see Stitzle tied up in a chair looking down. Stereotypical hostage thing. CHIEF: McSusan there he is. (Whispering) Hey! Hey Stitzle! It's me Chief MCSUSAN: Sir I think he knows who you are. Stitzle looks up looking relieved. Just then they hear the voice of the woman. GIRL: So you came Chief but you didn't follow my orders. I saw that ticket outside. CHIEF: Did you really think that we would pass up the opportunity to slap le handicap parkur with a 50 dollar fine? Ha, you must really be crazy. Walking out of the shadows LE HANDICAP PARKUR: If you think I'm going to pay that 50 dollar fine Chief you are mistaken. For who will enforce a fine that has been forgotten? CHIEF: McSusan! Duck! Chief and McSusan duck and roll to a place of hiding while a lazer shoots at them. MCSUSAN: Chief did you see that! What was that!?! CHIEF: It was a lazer McSusan! Get with it man! MCSUSAN: You have delt with lazers before Chief? CHIEF: Sure! I used to go to Nickleback concerts and shine one right in the eyes of the lead singer, I hate those guys more than Detroit does. Now I need you to run to where we just were and I'm going to go around this way and try to tackle that lazer shooting SOB. Here take these, I've been saving them for a sticky situation. MCSUSAN: Tooth picks sir? CHIEF: That's right they refuse to give me lethal force. on three one....two....three. Shot of the front of the box they were hiding behind. Both book it on either side. Shot of McSusan thowing tooth picks at le handicap pakur then shot of Chief running too. Le Handicap Parkur looks like he's getting him with toothpick and shooting lazers randomly. then Chief tackles him and apprehends him. CHIEF: If we had a jail on campus you'd be going away for a long time. But you're paying that fine handicap parkur and with interest. Shot of the girl untieing Stitzle. Looking at each other affectionately. CHIEF: Give me some of that rope Stitzle I'm going to rob this guy. Shot of all four of them from behind walking out girl on Stitzles arm. CHIEF: Another job well done boys. What do you say we celebrate with some Wendey's? ALL: NO! CHIEF: Come on it's better than the other places they got them square patties, never frozen, jeeze alright. Well Stitzle back to your place lets see what's in your fridge. STAN: Fine sir. CHIEF: Stitzle you're a hell of a man. Unlike McSusan over here, McSusan what is that? Polish? I can't even tell. MCSUSAN: No sir it's Irish. CHEIF: Hey! thats a thought lets go to a bar! I got a thirst like an elephant after making the great migration from... Sound and image fading out while Chief rambles.